I long to be “Just a stay at home mom”

I long to be”Just a Stay at Home Mom”, but I don’t think that hypothetical unicorn exists. I long for her, though.

You see, we homemakers are a tough bunch. We are chauffeurs, short-order chefs, maids, teachers, lawn-care technicians. We are office assistants, schedulers, organizers. we get you where you need to be, fed, clothed, and with the appropriate sporting gear . . . most of the time.

Now, as if that wasn’t enough, we must also be, clever, crafty, funny. We must blog, start our own businesses, and spread the joy of glitter to the world in unique videos showing everyone just how awesome we are.

I’d like to blame social media, or feminism, or men in general, but the fact is that these over-expectations, come from ourselves. Because in our heads being “just a stay at home mom” isn’t enough. But I want to tell you something, “It is.” And you know what else is enough? Being a working mom, being a work-from-home mom, being any kind of mom, it’s enough.

I am right there in the middle of this mix, perpetuating every single over-expectation. I AM a homemaker, I own my own publishing house (www.handersenpublishing.com . . . check it out), obviously I blog, and I make super-cute, crafty videos involving something called Thumb Theatre. But I’m also “just a mom” trying my best to do this amazing job that I’ve been blessed with to the best of my ability.

I am trying to be present for my kids, for my husband, for my family. And it’s enough, I am enough . . . you are enough.

This post is directed at moms, but in reality, it probably resonates to everyone in general. Should you strive to be the best you that you can be? Yes, a million times, YES! Keep exploring and learning and growing. Just don’t let other people tell you what that “best you” looks like.

 

No book review for this post, it’s enough . . . just as it is.

 

This is NOT our normal toilet paper.

It looked like the toilet paper that I normally buy. It was the same brand, same packaging . . . I didn’t even read the label. It had been a long day of errands, and this was my last one. With two kids running around the store like maniacs, it was time to go. I just didn’t realize that when we got home and it was time to go, that we would have a problem on our hands.

Growing up, there was one rule in our house: “Don’t buy cheap toilet paper.” And I was grateful for that rule. Now as a mother, I try to live by it as well. Until, that is, Aldis changed their packaging.

My son put the toilet paper away. It’s his one big responsibility and he LOVES stacking the rolls in the bottom cupboard. So I didn’t realize my mistake until it was too late.

“Bogies, mum…” said my 3-year-old, arms at his sides–we’re trying to teach him not to use his shirt, or his arm as a tissue.

“Okay, hold on,” I said.

As I went to grab some TP, I was not greeted with the soft, two-ply, quilted delight that is usually there. This was worse than the toilet paper you find in mall bathrooms. This was one-ply, rough, falls apart, awful.

I went to the trash and checked the packaging. It was the same brand, but it was NOT our normal toilet paper. And now we had a LOT of it because when it’s only one-ply there is a lot more paper on each roll.

I’m pretty frugal, so I thought, “Hey, we can handle this. It’s just TP, right? Nothing to get upset about.” But it’s been over two months with this horrible and never ending cache of toilet paper. Our family will persevere. We will get through this. And from now on, I will take the time to make sure I get the right TP.

 

In honor of going, my new book review is Even Firefighters Go to the Potty by Wendy Wax and Naomi Wax with illustrations by Stephen Gilpin.

Firefighters Potty

This book had the kids and I laughing very hard because, let’s face it, what preschooler or toddler isn’t obsessed with bathroom humor? The premise is pretty simple. Adults from different professions are mysteriously missing. As you lift each flap, you see that they are in the potty.

This was a nice sturdy flap book, but it is not for the faint of heart, or the mom who is so tired of hearing the word poop, and jokes about poop, and kids talking about poop nonstop…that she just might scream. This book encourages dialogue about the bathroom, and all that it entails.

My little guy is already potty-trained, so I can’t say for certain that it would help with that. It might make it less scary to think that even people as brave as firefighters, pilots, and astronauts use the potty.

So if you’re ready for lots of giggles, especially about the train engineer’s locomotive themed underwear, then this book is for you.

 

 

4th of July in Denmark, Kansas

My favorite parts of the Fourth of July are:

  • Homemade Ice cream
  • Annual parade through the mecca of Denmark, KS
  • Patriotic Music (who doesn’t love a marching band?)
  • oohing and ahhing at fireworks – especially the lame ones

There are many reasons to love Independence Day. But my little guy will quickly tell you that the booms are not his favorite–too loud. Last year we spent the evening inside, wearing noise reducing headphones, while looking out a window, shaking with fear (him, not me).

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Maybe this year we can at least sit on the front porch?

So be careful, everyone. Have a fun (and safe) Independence Day.

 

Barbie2

I am boycotting a book review for this blog because we are on a repeat cycle of Barbie books at the moment. We try to let the kids choose their own books for story time, but if I have to read A Paw-some Mystery (Barbie and Her Sisters in the Great Puppy Adventure) one more time…I’m going to look like this:

Barbie

Expectations

I have a mantra, and it goes like this:

I will not worry, obsess, or dwell on the things, people, or situations I cannot change.

There’s another saying that goes something like “you can’t change the situation, only your perception of it.” Then there’s that one about having no control over anyone’s actions but your own.

What I’ve found, though, is that it all boils down to expectations.

Sometimes what you want isn’t what you get because what the other person has to give doesn’t meet your expectations. Maybe it’s better to change your expectations because sometimes what the other person is giving is more than they ever thought they could.

This isn’t about lowering standards, like the skit from MadTV. It’s more about empathy and understanding. It’s about being grateful, and working to make yourself a better person outside of the situations you find yourself in.

It’s becoming a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. And when I reflect on past conflict, it mostly comes from ME expecting too much. Too much from myself, and definitely too much from my family and friends.

You have to meet people where they are at, and not expect them to know where you’re coming from or where you’re going. Because they are coming from and going to their own places. Places that are sometimes filled with conflict outside of your own.

I have one more mantra that I sometimes use:

Don’t throw dirt in my hole because I already throw enough on myself.

Okay, so maybe that one’s not as profound as the others. But if you dig yourself into  a hole that you created, that means you’re the one that should dig yourself out. So you better find a large, durable shovel.

As a mother this becomes all too apparent when it comes to scheduling. Especially when you run a small independent publishing house that just took on two new authors. This on top of your mom duties, wife duties, daughter duties, friend duties. Then you buy a house. Next up it’s being the maid of honor at your sister’s wedding. Now it’s time for your husband to start school, then your oldest kiddo starts Kindergarten.

Let’s just say life is full of dirt. It must be time for a bigger shovel.

 

My review for this week is appropriately titled Dig by Andrea Zimmerman and David Clemesha with illustrations by Marc Rosenthal

Dig

This great board book is fantastic for your little ones that are obsessed with construction. And I know there are a lot of them out there. I have two myself.

In Dig, Mr. Rally and his dog, Lightning, have five jobs to do. As they go to each site to complete their tasks, they:

Dig up rock and dig up clay! Dig up dirt and dig all day!

This book has all the elements of a great beginner children’s book. There is counting, rhyming, and a repetitive rhythm that will have your little one “reading” along in no time. The illustrations are bright and offer little things for your child to discover along the way.

The accountability of hardwood floors

We recently moved from an apartment completely covered in carpet (with tile in the kitchen and bathroom) to a house completely covered in beautiful hardwood floors. I’m guessing that there are at least a few of you that know what’s coming next . . .

Hardwood floors are always dirty and dusty and the little balls of lint that float around the corners drive me nuts!

I’m not naive enough to think that this dust and dirt and lint didn’t exist in my carpets (and I am, only now, a little disgusted thinking about it), but now I see it. I see it while I’m gathering laundry, and I sweep. I see it while I’m reading stories, so I sweep. I see it after doing dishes, and I . . .

IGNORE IT.

Because let’s face it, there are a lot of other things I’d rather be doing than sweeping.

But there’s an accountability here, and I am thankful for it in some ways. The dirt isn’t hiding in the carpet, it’s out in the open. And that forces me to look it in the eyes and either say, “Your time is up, it’s time to sweep.” or “Okay, you can stay for now, nasty puff-balls of lint. I am going to jump on the trampoline with my kids.”

Sometimes we need hardwood floors in our lives.

IsLenaPretty

My book review for this week is one that I won in a Facebook giveaway. And I’m SO glad that I did!

Is Lena Pretty? by Liza Dora is one of those books that has an important lesson to teach, but doesn’t say it in a preachy way. It is also very age appropriate and very approachable. This book is a wonderful tool for teaching character.

It’s important to mention that this is NOT a rhyming book. Don’t get me wrong, I love a whimsical, sing-songy rhyming book. I even write children’s poetry—and yes, it usually rhymes. But it isn’t always necessary.

This book is a breath of fresh air. The illustrations are simple and fit the text nicely. I love what author Liza Dora signed in the front of our copy:  “Smart is the new pretty. And who says you can’t be both?! Keep being kind, and smart, and helpful, and keep reading!”

I really loved this book. And I hope that our household can be accountable for teaching these standards of beauty.

Momma smiles. “If I told you someone was smart, helpful, kind, talented, and brave, would you think they were pretty?”

Lena thinks for a minute before she answers: “I’d think they were beautiful.”

Visit Liza Dora’s website to get your very own copy of Is Lena Pretty? http://www.lizadora.com/books/shop/

 

Guess Who? is EVIL.

Sometimes you just have to roll with it!

Dude In A Badger Hat

Guess Who? vs. Your Sanity 

WARNING TO PARENTS: playing the game Guess Who? with your small child is a dangerous and miserable experience. Trust me. Although you will attempt to explain it to him/her, how the box states 5 YEARS AND UP, your two-year-old will demand you play that one, disregarding the fact that there are many, many other board games to choose from.

When the tears subside (theirs, for now; yours will come later) and you absolutely must partake in this nightmarish activity, make sure you are playing it on the carpet–the softer the better. If you play it on your hardwood floors, or on a table, your child’s asinine questions/constant changing of characters/attempting to explain how the game actually works, etc…you will soon be repeatedly bashing your sleep-deprived cranium on the nearest solid object.

I liken it to running a hundred meter dash inside a…

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Hi, sorry it’s been so long

I wanted to start a new blog, and realized that it has been THREE MONTHS since my last entry.

THREE MONTHS!

I could list the many reasons why (and believe me there are a thousand reasons, both big and small), but instead I will just say, “Hi, sorry it’s been so long.”

This reminded me of my relationship with my BFF. We can go months without talking sometimes, but when we get together again it’s as if we’d just gone out to dinner or a movie last weekend. And THAT is why she is my BFF!

 

Today’s book review is the ultimate tale of friendship: Stick and Stone by Beth Ferry, with illustrations by Tom Lichtenheld.

Stick and Stone

This book has been a family favorite for a while, and I’m pretty sure we’ve maxed out renewals at the library on it at least three times.

Stick and Stone is the unlikely tale of friendship between a heavy rock and a skinny stick. The two main characters are very different, but they have each other’s backs and accept each other for who they are. It’s super simple, pretty clever, and very fun! I especially like the little pinecone that causes mischief…because he’s a bit of a bully.

The illustrations are bright and happy even when things in the story are a little grim. There isn’t a lot of text, but the story is surprisingly full, and very enjoyable for everyone in the family.

Happy Birthday Mom

We’ve all had that moment as a mom when you take a deep breath, close your eyes, and try to get through the next 5 minutes. I know my mom did. And I know this because I just did the EXACT same thing I saw her do a million times when I was a kid.

Yes, the fear that every daughter has is slowly coming true: I am becoming my mother. And in a lot of ways, I consider myself one lucky daughter.

My mom is an amazing person, and an especially awesome grandma.

She is the one who began my love of reading, and now she is encouraging my kids to start the same journey. Just as she does so many young readers as the children’s librarian in my home town.

So on this day, her most special of days, I wanted to share a few of my favorite books from my childhood:

 

And, I want to add one more special book (which has come back to haunt me).

Planetanimals: Mission Zapton.

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I loved this book when I was little, begging my mom to read it to me over and over. And now, I find myself trudging through it with my little ones. The only problem is that it’s surprisingly awful, completely strange, and hardly makes any sense. The worst part is that it is REALLY long. Thank you mom for suffering through this one, and reading with me, and encouraging me to read on my own. Although the last one might have been a selfish excuse to not read this book anymore.

Happy Birthday, I love you.

 

 

Reality

I remember a few year ago, a friend on Facebook posted pictures of her two young kids watching Finding Nemo. They were finally beginning to understand the seriousness of what was really happening. This was no longer a colorful movie where fish spend their days in the happy ocean, swimming around and meeting other fish friends.

This was chaos! This was underwater Armageddon!

Mothers were being gobbled up! Children were being separated from their parents! Shark attacks! A deadly girl in braces was killing fish!

Reality had come crashing in.

I had a similar moment as a child with Bambi.  They always show the cute little skunk when promoting this epic disaster/horror movie. “You can call me Flower, if you want to…” It was all so deceiving, so traumatizing . . . when reality strikes.

My husband bravely admitted that his movie/reality moment came with Charlotte’s Web.

And now, while our two-year-old is dancing and laughing through the “scary” parts, our five-year-old has a look of terror–actual TERROR–in her eyes, plus the trembling lip, the tears, etc. Every kid’s movie from Hoodwinked to the Little Mermaid, even Barbie and the Dream House (yes, scared of certain parts in a BARBIE movie), along with several episodes of The Octonauts are now off limits.

Knock Knock.

Who is it?

Reality.

Um, Reality who?

Just answer the door, lady. 

There is only one way to get through this stage. Patience, of course, and a good dose of Dinosaur Train (which, right now, is the only TV show that both kids can agree on). I find it funny that just as reality is setting in, my five-year old is obsessed with a show where all species of dinosaur happily co-exist, discuss their different features, and ride a train together through different parts of the Mesozoic Era using glittery time tunnels. Maybe there is a little room left for imagination?

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In honor of reality, my book for this week comes from our family’s new favorite author, Patrick McDonnell (who has actually been around for a long time). Mr. McDonnell is the creator of the comic strip, Mutts. His characters are crazy-cute. But what my family really loves are the stories. We originally fell in love with his book, Art. And now, A Perfectly Messed-Up Story. (We just picked up two more of his children’s books at the library today.)

A Perfectly Messed-Up Story is all about Louie, who is going merrily through his day until a giant blob of jam suddenly ends up on the pages of his story. Then some peanut butter. Then some fingerprints. And then (gasp!) crayon marks. The premise of the book is that even when life is a bit messed up, the show (or story) must go on. And it’s not usually as bad as you thought it was going to be.

My kids’ favorite part is when Louie freaks out. They also really enjoyed the fact that the messed-up parts look like real things. (Note the paper towel, which my daughter tried to peel off of the book–without success.)

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If you have not discovered the children’s books of Patrick McDonnell, A Perfectly Messed-Up Story is a great place to start!