Tag Archives: choices

Expectations

I have a mantra, and it goes like this:

I will not worry, obsess, or dwell on the things, people, or situations I cannot change.

There’s another saying that goes something like “you can’t change the situation, only your perception of it.” Then there’s that one about having no control over anyone’s actions but your own.

What I’ve found, though, is that it all boils down to expectations.

Sometimes what you want isn’t what you get because what the other person has to give doesn’t meet your expectations. Maybe it’s better to change your expectations because sometimes what the other person is giving is more than they ever thought they could.

This isn’t about lowering standards, like the skit from MadTV. It’s more about empathy and understanding. It’s about being grateful, and working to make yourself a better person outside of the situations you find yourself in.

It’s becoming a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. And when I reflect on past conflict, it mostly comes from ME expecting too much. Too much from myself, and definitely too much from my family and friends.

You have to meet people where they are at, and not expect them to know where you’re coming from or where you’re going. Because they are coming from and going to their own places. Places that are sometimes filled with conflict outside of your own.

I have one more mantra that I sometimes use:

Don’t throw dirt in my hole because I already throw enough on myself.

Okay, so maybe that one’s not as profound as the others. But if you dig yourself into  a hole that you created, that means you’re the one that should dig yourself out. So you better find a large, durable shovel.

As a mother this becomes all too apparent when it comes to scheduling. Especially when you run a small independent publishing house that just took on two new authors. This on top of your mom duties, wife duties, daughter duties, friend duties. Then you buy a house. Next up it’s being the maid of honor at your sister’s wedding. Now it’s time for your husband to start school, then your oldest kiddo starts Kindergarten.

Let’s just say life is full of dirt. It must be time for a bigger shovel.

 

My review for this week is appropriately titled Dig by Andrea Zimmerman and David Clemesha with illustrations by Marc Rosenthal

Dig

This great board book is fantastic for your little ones that are obsessed with construction. And I know there are a lot of them out there. I have two myself.

In Dig, Mr. Rally and his dog, Lightning, have five jobs to do. As they go to each site to complete their tasks, they:

Dig up rock and dig up clay! Dig up dirt and dig all day!

This book has all the elements of a great beginner children’s book. There is counting, rhyming, and a repetitive rhythm that will have your little one “reading” along in no time. The illustrations are bright and offer little things for your child to discover along the way.

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The accountability of hardwood floors

We recently moved from an apartment completely covered in carpet (with tile in the kitchen and bathroom) to a house completely covered in beautiful hardwood floors. I’m guessing that there are at least a few of you that know what’s coming next . . .

Hardwood floors are always dirty and dusty and the little balls of lint that float around the corners drive me nuts!

I’m not naive enough to think that this dust and dirt and lint didn’t exist in my carpets (and I am, only now, a little disgusted thinking about it), but now I see it. I see it while I’m gathering laundry, and I sweep. I see it while I’m reading stories, so I sweep. I see it after doing dishes, and I . . .

IGNORE IT.

Because let’s face it, there are a lot of other things I’d rather be doing than sweeping.

But there’s an accountability here, and I am thankful for it in some ways. The dirt isn’t hiding in the carpet, it’s out in the open. And that forces me to look it in the eyes and either say, “Your time is up, it’s time to sweep.” or “Okay, you can stay for now, nasty puff-balls of lint. I am going to jump on the trampoline with my kids.”

Sometimes we need hardwood floors in our lives.

IsLenaPretty

My book review for this week is one that I won in a Facebook giveaway. And I’m SO glad that I did!

Is Lena Pretty? by Liza Dora is one of those books that has an important lesson to teach, but doesn’t say it in a preachy way. It is also very age appropriate and very approachable. This book is a wonderful tool for teaching character.

It’s important to mention that this is NOT a rhyming book. Don’t get me wrong, I love a whimsical, sing-songy rhyming book. I even write children’s poetry—and yes, it usually rhymes. But it isn’t always necessary.

This book is a breath of fresh air. The illustrations are simple and fit the text nicely. I love what author Liza Dora signed in the front of our copy:  “Smart is the new pretty. And who says you can’t be both?! Keep being kind, and smart, and helpful, and keep reading!”

I really loved this book. And I hope that our household can be accountable for teaching these standards of beauty.

Momma smiles. “If I told you someone was smart, helpful, kind, talented, and brave, would you think they were pretty?”

Lena thinks for a minute before she answers: “I’d think they were beautiful.”

Visit Liza Dora’s website to get your very own copy of Is Lena Pretty? http://www.lizadora.com/books/shop/

 

The Good Choices Mom

My husband and I have taught our two children about choices from an early age. The hardest part of letting your children make choices is that you have to be okay if what they choose isn’t necessarily what you would.  A great example of this would be the sparkly tutu my daughter chose to wear to the park…every single time…for at least a month.

Up until about a week ago I was able to manipulate the choices into things that would be positive either way. “Would you like carrots or cauliflower?” “Do you want to go to the park or the zoo?” But now I find myself saying, “If you choose to be mean, then you will have to play by yourself.” Things are gettin’ real at our house, people!

And it is SO hard to watch them make poor choices and then have to deal with the consequences (especially when I’m the one handing out the consequences). I keep reminding myself that I won’t always be there to discuss the choices that my children will have to make. Eventually the decisions they’ll be making are going to get really tough. “Do you want to go to a party or study for your midterm?” “Do you want to smoke pot or join the swim team?” “Do you want to date the girl who makes you a better person, or the one who is really hot but treats you bad?”

Today, though, we had a breakthrough! After yet another round of “if you choose to be mean, you will have to play by yourself…” my four-year-old came out of her room, and she CHOSE to change her attitude. YES! I think I’m finally doing something right!!!

Then again, maybe some days are just better than others. Or perhaps it was simply that her tummy informed her that it was lunchtime, and that mom only hands out Fruit Snacks when you DON’T make your brother cry…

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This week’s book is a shameless promotion of the children’s book my husband and I just released, The Thumb Book. It turns difficult situations into opportunities to have fun. The lessons are a bit absurd, but behind the silliness there are opportunities to talk with your kids about the mean people of the world. There is also opportunity for creativity because you can make your own “Thumb Stories!” We’ve been making “Thumb Theatre” at home and the kids LOVE it. My daughter even made this video:

So check out The Thumb Book, available through Handersen Publishing. There are also more awesome Thumb videos!

People can be mean, so can thumbs, but maybe you can turn that negative into a positive.
People can be mean. So can thumbs. But maybe you can turn that negative into a positive.

http://handersenpublishing.com/the-thumb-book.html